September 7 is the 2nd anniversary of laying  my daughter Crystal to rest near her grandmother’s grave in Columbus Georgia.  To honor her, we visited the river bank where her friends held a life’s celebration honoring her life.  We said a prayer and threw a bouquet of flowers on the river watching the tide carrying them to her “crossing the bar” to the other side.  

Crossing the Bar

Alfred Lord Tennyson - 1809-1892

 Sunset and evening star,

  And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
  When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
  Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
  Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
  And after that the dark! 
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
  When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
  The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face 
  When I have cross’d the bar.

Wayfaring Stranger

 

Wayfaring Stranger

Song by Emmylou Harris

I am a poor wayfaring stranger

While traveling through this world of woe

Yet there's no sickness, toil or danger

in that bright world to which I go

I'm going there to see my father

I'm going there no more to roam

I'm only going over Jordan

I'm only going over home

I know dark clouds will gather around me

I know my way is rough and steep

Yet beauteous fields lie just before me

Where God's redeemed their vigils keep

I'm going there to my mother

She said she'd meet me when I come

I'm only going over Jordan

I'm only going over home.

Crossing Over to the Over Side

 

September 7, 2019 is the day we laid our daughter, Crystal Michelle Fallin to rest close to her grandmother's grave in Columbus, Georgia.  They are together on that peaceful shore.  God gives me hope.

"In my heart, I'm Celebrating your life at the river, relinquishing your hand and watching you cross over to that peaceful shore.  You are on the other side, safe and at peace waiting for the day your love ones too can cross over tot he other side."

The Binding Thread of Grief

 

When my daughter departed this earth everything brushed against the raw wounds of my grief, reminding me of Crystal.  A tilt of the head, a laugh, fragrance of candles, the beach, walking the neighborhood, places where she ate, attended daycare, schools, playgrounds, the Nutcracker Ballet, and the list goes on.  Even drawings of children who resemble her attracts my attention.  It often brings tears to my eyes and sometimes it's difficult to bear but I also can't let them go.  These binding threads of grief is gradually, bit by bit, becoming gifts of loving memories that can never be taken away.  So there is hope where loving memories can also bring smiles.  The binding thread of grief also brings treasures.  Crystal's artwork lifts my spirit and I use it to bring smiles to the lonely, isolated and elderly through non profit groups The Angel Card Project and Kind Cards for Cool Kids.  I used her artwork and added graphics and text for Valentines and mailed the cards to 100 people around the country.

Shadows of Grief

 

Crystal's friends held a memorial service for her on the banks of the Matanzas River at Helen Melton Schmidt Park located at Summer Island.    It's off the the beaten path, just the way Crystal would  have liked. They held the service in a small cove on the river bank.  They lit a sky lantern and release it into the clouds and it floated over the river and high above the horizon.  They threw flowers into the river.in her memory.  Every time we drive by the park, we think of her life's celebration by her friends but it is also brings out the shadows of grief that reminds us she is gone.  Grief is always in the shadows.